I believe in psychopharmacology.
I grew up believing that my anxiety and sadness were deficiencies in faith.
Evil is a force in the world like electromagnetism. 
The messenger for electromagnetism is the photon.
The messenger for evil is the demon.
Like the photon, demons are not perceived directly.
We see only symptoms.
Most symptoms of demons are not supernatural.
Demons can cause illness, disability, madness, disfigurement.
Evil is a destructive force, and demons seek tirelessly to manifest it.
Their motive is obscure.
Their vector is sin.
They seek to deprive us of grace.
And there's the disconnect.
We appear to have little natural defense to such a force.
So am I to blame for my predicament?
My will again the supernatural?
Sounds like scapegoating to me.
Where is the fair shake?
Why leave us so exposed and raw?
I must submit, and, at the same time, not submit?
That feels malevolent and disabling.
A condition prodded by the impossible.
It never quite clicked.
Happiness is a pill, an unconditional hand up.
Empowering, not devouring.
A fair shake.
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