R: Eh, it's so creepy. That's so creepy... (looking at the house) So, it's 55 Hastings. There's a dog. How many bedrooms is it?
M: Two. One bedroom downstairs, and the upstairs is all one big space.
R: And you lived right up there?
M: I lived upstairs, yeah.
R: So, I know all the stories you've told me. There was that one where you felt something pushing against you...
M: Yeah, I was sleeping and it felt like something was spooning me and trying to get in me. Possess me. Or something. And then, right when everyone moved in here they were all sitting by the kitchen table and we had a pitcher of water in the refrigerator, they had just stuck it in there to chill it, and they pulled it out to pour it and Amber started pouring the water and water froze as it was coming out of the pitcher. And there were five people sitting there that saw it. It froze in mid-stream.
And there was another time I was sitting on my bed and I just got this weird feeling, it felt like someone was there and I looked in the air and it looked like someone had smacked (chalk erasers) and there was dust everywhere and there was this rancid smell of just, like, death. It did not go away for a long time. I got out of there and that same night I didn't want to go back up into the room, I have these wind-chimes above my bed and they were going off by themselves.
R: Do you think whoever lives there right now would get really freaked out if we ... you think they have stories of there own?
M: This is one of the oldest houses in Bend. I think it is the oldest house in Bend. I believe Chinese people built it that came here to do the railroad. There's a whole bunch of information about this place at the museum.
R: Do you know any stories of what had happened here?
M: I know that the family who lived here, back in the eighties, they were practicing Satan worshippers. They had a fire pit in the backyard that was a pentagram, five fire pits and rocks connecting it to look like a pentagram. And I heard stories about one of the kids who lived here who was super psycho, tortured animals and was not a very good little boy. And, in the upstairs, all around the room there's cabinets, they're for storage. The roof kind of comes down low and there's cabinets on the outside of the walls, there's a wooden shelf inside of there and on the shelf in really crappy handwriting that kid had written, "This is Eli's Kill."
GEES
And we hard stories that he would torture animals. And then apparently there was little girl who died in a fire upstairs and I think that was the little ghost we would hear quite a bit. At night when we were trying to go to sleep I would hear this (scrapes ground) like someone scraping their feet across the carpet. Like soft.
And covers would come off all the time, it would be like someone was slowly pulling my covers off. Or I would feel, it my pajamas were out on the outside I would feel this tugging on my clothes.
(referencing Cari's story)
Did your guys' characters plummet?
Oh yeah, everybody in the house was on a bad one. I only lived there for two months. I think everyone else lived there for a total of three months. There was some very strange behavior going on at the time.
Out roommate Chad was a total sicko. We came home one day to him butt-naked on the couch masturbating. And he would steal our dirty underwear out of our clothes hamper. We found a bunch of them stuffed under his mattress. And then he peed in our shampoo bottle one time. People were alwasy partying here. People were always fighting. There was always weird shit going on. I remember one night, there was this girl Shannon we went to High School with, I lived up there with my friend Kirtsten, we shared the room, she said, "You guys live up there together? Are you lesbians?" And we're like, "Yeah, we's lesbains
Everyone was a little bit off. I don't know if it's the amount of partying or what... Oh! The other weird thing about the house, I had a full on lucid dream about the house before I ever even saw the place. I had this dream we were having a party in the house and that everybody was really uptight and arguing with each other and there was all this tension going on and, everybody was saying, "we need to get out of here, this place is possessed, or there is something wrong, we need to go." I just remember being very distinct details in the house from my dream. So it felt like I was there before I was there.
The shower in the downstairs bathroom was creepy. I'm sure it was just old plumbing but there was always the creepiest noises in there, like rattling pipes and groaning noises. It was really dark and had these two towel rings next to the sink that we these lion heads that brass and had rings in their mouths and it was like there was blood coming out of their mouths.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Joe interview with Kasey
I'm going to talk about, the one who is with me.
Ok. Are we filming? You're going to talk about the presence that is with you?
Yeah, for me it's a slow process of meeting this being for me because I didn't have the symbols ... uh ... communication through symbolic form to know what was surrounding me as a kid.
Around the ages of fifteen or so something that I didn't know at the time became attracted to me, in the sense of ethereal beings that are neither (neether) alive nor dead but are drawn to different people for different reasons, basically as if we were a metal, as if we had magnetism through certain experiences we draw in a certain energy, a life force,
Long term, short, it wasn't until I was about twenty-six years old and had cut off a few square inches of my penis and got institutionalized for three months where I was sitting in a loony bin smoking cigarettes with a bunch of people I didn't like that I actually had a vision of this thing that had been with my since I was fifteen. So a period of decade or so I had only had contact with it through nightmares and sort of a just a naive unknowing towards it. And during my stay this, in retrospect, seems like a vacation but while I was there it was very difficult to feel alright. And it came up to me in a sort of a mirage of a giant iris that was green and blue, came right up with me, and that was the introduction. It was like an iris and it felt like it had been here for awhile. And it wasn't until about a year and half later of retrospect thought through symbolic imagery (of how I've processed my past) did I actually start to enjoy the fact that I wasn't alone. And that I had been chosen by this particular thing, that I ended up naming Serendipity. It's a hermaphrodite being that has no release so it vicariously uses me for (...) love and perhaps celibacy. For it's own mourning. It would not let me, my whole life I've had very few relationships with a wonderful woman where it wasn't easily off. Just the connection wasn't there and so it's kind of kept me sheltered because it felt a similarity from my own experience perhaps it was from molestation by my neighbor at an early age and not having a girl-next-door or a .. where now it's nice to have the acceptance of something that is protective of me. And sees something in someone I love as something for itself too. And that is has accepted it and enjoys.
The main thing that I didn't know it was doing was (....) music it would draw me towards are just, the things has audio (referring to camera)...
Do you feel like this being is more like a hitchhiker riding around with you or is it something that remotely taps into you from somewhere else?
It has a genuine affinity towards my uniqueness. And it doesn't leave. It doesn't go away. And the most mischievous, I'm acting out, mostly speaking of my past, if there's something I don't feel that I'm getting it seems to know ahead of time, what's good for me. So it contemplates me. And it's looking out for my best interest. Serendipity.
Do you have any sense of any physical incarnations of Serendipity?
It will never, this one might stick with me for all my incarnations. I'm assuming it can't incarnate. It is what it is.
Any feelings associated with it? Key points that come to you?
Softly mischievous, softly mischievous. It's a lover. It's able to love. And it has no, it's alone and it loves. And it's alone other than me and who I love.
Ok. Are we filming? You're going to talk about the presence that is with you?
Yeah, for me it's a slow process of meeting this being for me because I didn't have the symbols ... uh ... communication through symbolic form to know what was surrounding me as a kid.
Around the ages of fifteen or so something that I didn't know at the time became attracted to me, in the sense of ethereal beings that are neither (neether) alive nor dead but are drawn to different people for different reasons, basically as if we were a metal, as if we had magnetism through certain experiences we draw in a certain energy, a life force,
Long term, short, it wasn't until I was about twenty-six years old and had cut off a few square inches of my penis and got institutionalized for three months where I was sitting in a loony bin smoking cigarettes with a bunch of people I didn't like that I actually had a vision of this thing that had been with my since I was fifteen. So a period of decade or so I had only had contact with it through nightmares and sort of a just a naive unknowing towards it. And during my stay this, in retrospect, seems like a vacation but while I was there it was very difficult to feel alright. And it came up to me in a sort of a mirage of a giant iris that was green and blue, came right up with me, and that was the introduction. It was like an iris and it felt like it had been here for awhile. And it wasn't until about a year and half later of retrospect thought through symbolic imagery (of how I've processed my past) did I actually start to enjoy the fact that I wasn't alone. And that I had been chosen by this particular thing, that I ended up naming Serendipity. It's a hermaphrodite being that has no release so it vicariously uses me for (...) love and perhaps celibacy. For it's own mourning. It would not let me, my whole life I've had very few relationships with a wonderful woman where it wasn't easily off. Just the connection wasn't there and so it's kind of kept me sheltered because it felt a similarity from my own experience perhaps it was from molestation by my neighbor at an early age and not having a girl-next-door or a .. where now it's nice to have the acceptance of something that is protective of me. And sees something in someone I love as something for itself too. And that is has accepted it and enjoys.
The main thing that I didn't know it was doing was (....) music it would draw me towards are just, the things has audio (referring to camera)...
Do you feel like this being is more like a hitchhiker riding around with you or is it something that remotely taps into you from somewhere else?
It has a genuine affinity towards my uniqueness. And it doesn't leave. It doesn't go away. And the most mischievous, I'm acting out, mostly speaking of my past, if there's something I don't feel that I'm getting it seems to know ahead of time, what's good for me. So it contemplates me. And it's looking out for my best interest. Serendipity.
Do you have any sense of any physical incarnations of Serendipity?
It will never, this one might stick with me for all my incarnations. I'm assuming it can't incarnate. It is what it is.
Any feelings associated with it? Key points that come to you?
Softly mischievous, softly mischievous. It's a lover. It's able to love. And it has no, it's alone and it loves. And it's alone other than me and who I love.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Shanan - deeeeep inside
Although the demon that lives (who knows, it may be passing as I type this) inside me is pretty fucking despicable. Most especially because of the effect he has on me.
You see, though I am very simply a gentle soul through and through…there is a nasty piece of something deeeeeep inside me that puts a spell on my brain or my eyes… I’m not sure…could be a combination of both. As my connection to my physical body grows, I think I have identified where he lives (there may be more than one house where he lives). I have studied my demon for many years through practices like yoga and meditation and various forms of self-care. I have pursued education, and I have gone on retreat. I have been very honest with myself. I have looked at pictures, I have talked to friends, I have tried to pretend the demon didn’t exist. I have felt that I have made a lot of progress getting to know and trying to release my demon. And I have also experienced the heartbreak of realizing that after all I have done, I still know this demon. I have tried to forgive, I have tried to reason, I have prayed my ass off.
Oddly enough, I think my demon probably has at least one name given to him by the American Medical Association. Does this mean he is not uniquely mine? Or does he just have a big family and they also have beautiful homes? I’m not sure.
I am a woman who takes responsibility for her actions. I try not to be a victim, generally speaking. But I do believe the poison my culture has fed me over the years through beautiful chemicals and artfully manipulative advertisements, genetically fucked up food and glamorized violence strengthens my demon’s power over me. But I digress…
It would break your heart how ugly I can be. The tiny bump, eentsy imperfection that may or may not have been there. The restrictions in my younger years, the agonizing anxiety in my older ones when the demon rears his head (horns?). All those embarrassingly hideous pictures! How humiliating to be such an ugly girl! Though I know you’ve seen my face. “This is ridiculous” surely people would cry if they could hear what the demon makes me tell myself. It’s fucked up, I know.
Listen, I love myself very much. I honor myself in many ways. I know I am beautiful outside as well as in and I am grateful for the face and body I have been blessed with (blessed! gasp!).
I think I really am making progress giving the little shithead the boot. Most of my moments are lovely, after all. These cannot be the words of a woman demon-possessed. Surely you’ll agree with that statement?
On a side note, I saw a burning bush today. True story, it happened at the base of the Butte, we called it in. I told my mom it happened and she asked if I talked to God.
You bet your ass I did.
***
Monday, August 6, 2012
Davey - 12 Questions and Paint
Question:
1. What are demons? Demons are whatever you want them to be. They can be fear inducing, they can be inspirational, they can be a guiding force or a destructive one.
2. Do you love or hate demons? I don't love or hate demons. Loving them would be wasteful more often than not and hating them gives them too much validity.
3. What do demons look like? Demons look like whatever your imagination can conjure up. I do believe in possession though, so if they took on a human form, I suspect they would look just like you or I.
4. What realm do demons live in? I don't know.
5. Do all demons have horns? No, not all demons have horns. I suspect that the more powerful ones do though. In the bible, horns represented strength, power, wisdom, etc. Most animals that are endowed with horns use them as their chief means of defense or attack. I once drank mead out of a horn once during a ceremony.
6.What temperature is a demon? I don't know.
7. Do demons get fever/sick? Food poisoning? Do demons defecate? I'm sure demons could get sick. Anything that uses power for ill will usually makes themselves sick. It's best to use one's energy for creative purposes rather than destructive ones, although the line is thin between them.
8. What do demons use their powers for?
Coercion, Trickery...
9. What is the purpose of a demon?
To instigate, to destroy, to confuse, etc.
I don't think they really DO much themselves, I think they tend to convince others to do things.
10. What kinds of demons do you see in society?
Aside from the obvious answer of politicians, preachers, etc. I think demons find their way into everyday people that are vulnerable. They fill a gap for someone and take on many forms. Alcoholism, Pornography, Facebook...
11. How do you know if a person is possessed by a demon?
I don't know if there is a tell-tale sign, I usually just rely on my gut. I can tell if someone is haunted or possessed or whatever by just feeling it. You can kinda just tell I think. It's usually defined by a sense of something lacking. A void in the person.
12. What is a demons favorite color?
Coercion, Trickery...
9. What is the purpose of a demon?
To instigate, to destroy, to confuse, etc.
I don't think they really DO much themselves, I think they tend to convince others to do things.
10. What kinds of demons do you see in society?
Aside from the obvious answer of politicians, preachers, etc. I think demons find their way into everyday people that are vulnerable. They fill a gap for someone and take on many forms. Alcoholism, Pornography, Facebook...
11. How do you know if a person is possessed by a demon?
I don't know if there is a tell-tale sign, I usually just rely on my gut. I can tell if someone is haunted or possessed or whatever by just feeling it. You can kinda just tell I think. It's usually defined by a sense of something lacking. A void in the person.
12. What is a demons favorite color?
I don't know... perhaps chartreuse.
Tara - My Little Bug Demon
As I studied the bugs, really observed them, I began to learn from them. To learn their secrets, how they survive where others could not. I began coveting their abilities. After some time I realized that I was becoming like them. I was metamorphosizing, changing. My inner skeleton was moving out to become my exoskeleton. The focus of my thoughts was changing, what was once kept inside was now coming out in words. What people thought did not matter so much anymore, just getting the job done mattered. The connectedness, the noise of all other life began demanding acknowledgement and time. I was transforming.
The insides turning out, shifting, becoming something different. The painful change.
Bones slowly – day after day- breaking through the skin. Pulling away from the muscles. In some places reattaching, in others falling off altogether. As the skin peels and bones shift, gaps begin to form. Open air gaps formed where old body parts are no longer needed. Organs decompose and break away leaving holes where they once were. Blood and fluids ooze out once the skin has peeled away. This lets in air to dry out and harden what is left. Only the structure is left, only what is needed to stay together. The inner skeleton has become and exoskeleton. A sense of freedom now emerges.
Floating in the goo of life. Resting after so much exertion. The effects have become encompassing. Things have turned inside out. There has been a metamorphosis and it will continue. Shedding the layers and assumptions. What was once inside is now outside. The raw secretive emotions that one keeps to oneself are now exposed. The barriers are breaking and what was once understood and acceptable is now gone. The core, the inner soul is now exposed. No more masks, no more skin, no more muscle to hide it all under. What have I become?
This thing inside of me, is it good or bad right or wrong? Is it heavenly or demonic? I’m not sure but is coming out and taking over. Maybe others will say it is wrong that it is demonic that it is bad because they fear what Is different what is not pretty or polite and this thing coming out, it is not pretty, it is not polite, it is the bug and it needs recognition, it needs to have its say to be acknowledged and to have power. The bug is me, I am the bug Woman.
Jo Picetti - Big Shot
Sometimes I am driven to be a big shot.
I come from a long line of big shots and have written off my big shot attitude to this fact.
I can't help it.
It may come from my lack of power as a child and/or the desire to be recognized and influential.
On May 24th,, I came home to my boyfriend and pronounced, “I’m going to curba my big Italian mouth”.
He wrote it on the calendar and laughed his ass off.
He also wrote “end of the world” on Dec. 21st, so whatever.
Just yesterday I was making proclaimations, “I’ll take care of it” “I got this” “by the end of the month problem solved” badda bing badda boom.
The sad part is I was saying this to someone I hardly know and really don’t give a shit about. The head-trip that haunts me is; am I powerful? Influential? Can I make a difference?
A butterfly just flew around my feet saying “yes you are”.
I look for signs.
But it could’ve been a moth.
I have two sisters.
One likes to be a big shot.
Probably more than me, and the other doesn’t.
The sister who doesn’t have a need to be a big shot works at a job where she is highly recognized outside of work.
She hates it.
She doesn’t understand why people would be like Hiiiiiiiiiiii! And excited to see her. I think its cute and fun.
She hates it.
In Bend, notoriety can be something of a badge of honor.
Word gets around quick and it can be easy to build a reputation.
I have such a strong desire to be known for something great and to be a part of something great.
It is a demon because life just isn’t that exciting.
I embrace opportunities to shine.
Big and small.
If you need your horn tooted let me know.
Its not just about me being a big shot on my own it is about being a part of big things.
The haunting comes when I wonder if im annoying or made an ass out of myself because I will throw myself into things.
I can do this completely sober.
I get off on the thrill of influencing people.
For many years I was a born again Christian. Now I am not. Not at all.
One of the reasons I got off on being a born again was witnessing.
I would go balls out and I must say I was good at it; my conversion rate was high.
It was a rush to feel I could persuade someone to BELIEVE.
I'm haunted by the knowledge that (in this bullshit role I play in life) I am not important.
I just strive to play someone who is.
David - I believe in psychopharmacology
I believe in psychopharmacology.
I grew up believing that my anxiety and sadness were deficiencies in faith.
Evil is a force in the world like electromagnetism. 
The messenger for electromagnetism is the photon.
The messenger for evil is the demon.
Like the photon, demons are not perceived directly.
We see only symptoms.
Most symptoms of demons are not supernatural.
Demons can cause illness, disability, madness, disfigurement.
Evil is a destructive force, and demons seek tirelessly to manifest it.
Their motive is obscure.
Their vector is sin.
They seek to deprive us of grace.
And there's the disconnect.
We appear to have little natural defense to such a force.
So am I to blame for my predicament?
My will again the supernatural?
Sounds like scapegoating to me.
Where is the fair shake?
Why leave us so exposed and raw?
I must submit, and, at the same time, not submit?
That feels malevolent and disabling.
A condition prodded by the impossible.
It never quite clicked.
Happiness is a pill, an unconditional hand up.
Empowering, not devouring.
A fair shake.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Jamie - He Called Me
He was always hiding his van around town because he had too many
parking tickets, and, if he found a good hiding spot, he would sit on
the counter wearing his purple Captain Gus’ Cheese Steak shirt and
feed me philosophy while I mopped. I always tried to feed him, but he
never ate. Just drank coffee light and sweet and smoked menthols.
One day the phone rang at 5:30 a.m. as I was opening the café. I
picked up, expecting the boss. “Afrit?” It was Boyer’s gravelly voice.
“They finally got me. Can you come?”
I hung a hand written sign on the door saying we would be open late.
Boyer was as much a part of the café as the walls. Who else would he
call?
For 3 months we kept a list of reasons we could never date. My side
had 48 reasons. His had 8.
Once Boyer took me for an ice cream cone. He was so shocked at the
price I tried to pay.
If you go looking for a definition of Afrit you will find out they are
the second strongest conventional class of demon, and are described as
being spirits of fire and possessing fiery hooves. Bartimaeus refers
to them in Ptolemy’s Gate as "over-rated.”
An over-rated demon making lists of reasons why not to fall in love.
Boyer left me with a final riddle before I moved 3,000 miles away. He
said “The world is all that is the case. Figure it out.”
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